i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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