Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
