Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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