I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
