Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
