he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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