Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
