I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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