Me. At least after what I've been through.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
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