your parents love me but you hate me
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
