Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
