You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
