She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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