Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
