dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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