the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize