My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
