Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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