nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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