The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
