windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
