so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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