i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
