I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
