I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
