can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
