he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
