I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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