That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
