Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
