first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
