But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
