are you so shy because you have an std?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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