I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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