Whod you bang
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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