it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
