I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
