So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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