Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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