Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
