fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
