I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
