covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
