Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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