She kept screaming "best case scenario"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
