I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am spending my child support on dildos
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
