His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
