i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
