there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
it hurts more in the daytime
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
