Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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