Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
