i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
