This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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